I’m sitting here at 10 a.m. watching Bob’s Burgers and eating strawberry cheesecake because that is what my life has come to.
Since Valentine’s Day is approaching, I thought I’d try my hand out at writing about my relationship. In case you guys haven’t figured it out, I’m the crazy one and J isn’t. I’m the one who cried on the floor when the dogs ate my bagel, so, yeah, just to put that into your perspective.
Bless my sweet hubby, he puts up with so much with me. I come home from work fuming and accidentally take it out on him. Last Saturday I came home from work and found out he finished my Halo Top ice cream and I yelled about it followed by a prompt silence treatment for no real reason. Again, putting this into perspective. Here’s how the situation played out:
Me: Can you bring me the rest of my ice cream?
J: I ate it
J: I ate the rest of it
Me: Why would you eat MY ice cream? I bought it for me! Do you know how expensive Halo Top is??
J: I thought you were saving the rest for me. There wasn’t a lot left
Me: There was HALF A CONTAINER!
J: I’m sorry
Me: I don’t care, I wanted that ice cream
J: Well what do you want me to do? Go buy you another one?
J: *starts grabbing things to go to the store*
Me: No, I don’t want you to go get me another one, I’m already trying to go to bed. Forget it!
And then the silence treatment started. I told this story at work and the people in long term relationships there agreed that this is a pretty common type of argument to have. So it might sound familiar to some of you. If it doesn’t, I’m sorry our life is much crazy bickering. Some couples are just good and not letting this type of stuff get to them. J doesn’t necessarily care if I eat his food, but obvi I’m the crazy one so yes, I’m petty and get irritated with this. Moving on.
Do I think marriage is hard and difficult? No, not really.
Do I think marriage is a piece of cake (cheesecake, since I’m currently stuffing my face with it)? Again, no, not really. But I do think it can be depending on the people.
If you are lucky as I am to have a husband who puts up with your nonsense and one that is also your best friend, then I think you’d totally understand this. If you are not married, just think about living with your best friend. Do you think you wouldn’t fight and have stupid arguments about how one spoon was placed in the wrong silverware section? If I lived my female best friend,we probably would kill each other (shout out to Mahkayla!). We can barely spend a week together 24/7 without being beyond irritated with each other. Now imagine, a male version who sleeps in the same bed. PERFECT!
Recently, J and I have been on completely different schedules and it has been so difficult. Our type of work is very different and requires different types of hours and days off. J works a typical 8 hour day scheduled with Saturday and Sunday off. I work Friday through Sunday 12 hour shifts and want nothing to do with him when I get home. All I want is to climb into bed and pass out. He also works a weird back half day shift and doesn’t get off until 8:30 p.m. It’s really difficult to get quality time together anymore. We used to have at least one day off together, but when he got his new job that changed.
I think marriage is about making things work.So, instead of doing things after he gets off (because everything is closed or we’re too tired) we wake up early to workout or do a breakfast date instead of dinner date. Do we really want to wake up early to do these things? No. But we deal with it because we want to spend time together.
It really takes a toll on us though and we find ourselves no longer having quality conversations because we never seem to have the time for it. I’d say this happens mostly during “pillow talk” before we go to bed. We talk about all the important stuff that has happened throughout the day.
But marriage is supposed to be fun, like taking trips hiking or camping and going drunk laser tagging! Since we don’t have days off together, we’re really missing out on these type of fun activities that we can make memories with. But guess what? In the end, it’s all worth it.
We don’t go out often anymore but when we do, it’s still fun and we enjoy each others company even more because of it.
Like I said, marriage IS work. But it’s the kind of work that is fun and you are always learning new things about each other no matter how long you’ve been together. And at the end of the day, my favorite thing is just snuggling in bed together. So even if we don’t have days off together and don’t go on very many dates anymore, all we need is our daily date at night where we bicker about determining what we want for dinner, eat scrumptious food together on the couch watching whatever TV show we are currently binge watching (right now it’s Reign), and then watching another episode in bed all snuggled up before going to sleep.