lifestyle

Drunk Laser Tag

screenshot_20161217-215202This, my friends, is why I don’t drink often. I apparently thought my boobs were too out so my friend covered them (obvi the best friend ever!).

So my last blog post was a little serious, so I’m going to write about what happened during my mini Christmas party before it’s so far past Christmas that it isn’t that relevant. This, you guys, is the story of me playing laser tag drunk, which I promised to tell in my introduction post.

I work weekends so I took my last PTO days and took Saturday and Sunday the weekend before Christmas off. One of my friends came down and we made a vegetarian shepherd’s pie (I know, it’s basically inhumane to even call a shepherd’s pie vegetarian). We made little cheesecakes and shrimp as well.

The most exciting thing that I made was a Christmas punch. Obviously this had to have a lot of alcohol. So I found this recipe on Pinterest (Ok I was seriously going to link this recipe and I just searched all over Pinterest for it and can’t find it because I’m dumb and apparently didn’t save it, but whatever) and this is what it was: One bottle of whipped vodka, one bottle of sparkling rose (I think we bought like a sparkling pink moscato though, honestly I can’t remember this night is a BLUR) and then a 2 liter of cherry 7UP.

So I made this. And I drank a couple glasses. And then I drank some vodka Red Bulls (because they’re disgustingly good) and basically I was drunk. So here’s what I remember (play by play stuff here) we finished dinner (wasn’t that tipsy yet) and started playing Catch Phrase (which is the ultimate drunk game to play and if you don’t think that, then you’re wrong). We played a couple rounds of that. Mind you, my husband is HORRIBLE at Catch Phrase and it’s amazing to watch. Then we started playing Things which is a game that you write down answers and then have to guess who said what. We only played one round before my hubby’s friends were like, hey we’re going to this place that has bowling, laser tag, and arcade games. Most importantly, you can also drink there. Pretty sure it’s a kid place, but why the heck not throw a bar in there? Seems logical to me.

So we all change into more athletic things (because we’re in like nice dresses and heels and crap like that) and pile into two cars.

This is where the fun really begins. We all line up to get into laser tag and when we go in, I all of sudden am very confused at what is happening and I don’t know how to put my vest on and needed one of my friends to help me. Then when we entered the area (is it an arena, what do they call that?) I am immediately lost and have no idea what is going on. I’m getting schooled my small children and try to follow my friends around. I’m am literally scared that I’m GOING TO GET LOST IN THERE!

Let’s pause for a minute, because I’d like to holler at my husband for a hot second. I found him, and we are on opposite teams. However, all I wanted to do was figure out what was going on. So I go over to him and kiss him and then he SHOOTS ME. HE SHOT HIS WIFE WHEN SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON AND ALSO GAVE HIM A KISS.

So everything goes downhill from there. I’m like ok, fine, byeeeeeee and run away, basically getting shot every other second. Then I am trapped in a corner behind this wall and FALL DOWN. My drunk ass falls down and I CANNOT GET UP. People are shooting me and I’m lost and I can’t get up from this gross ground. I literally reached a hand up to grasp at the wall but there is nothing to grab.

Thankfully one of my friends happens to run past me and helps me up. Then the game ends and I have to follow the pack of people leaving because I don’t know how to get out.

Then after that game, THEY WANT TO PLAY ANOTHER ONE. Does this really sound like a good idea? But I’m a little less drunk so I’m like fine, let’s go. And I’ve got my competitive hat on at this point because I died like a million times and probably didn’t hit a single person.

But guess what happens in the second round? I FALL DOWN AGAIN.

Seriously? Yes, AGAIN.

Nobody was around and I had to figure out how to get up. Eventually I did, it’s ok guys, I’m alive to write this story! Again, I got shot at and probably didn’t hit anyone. So that was fun.

The guys, of course, want to play another game. I’m like no thanks and we go put our names down to go bowling because it’s like over an hour wait. So us girls do that and then go to the bar to get food. The guys eventually finish and we get called to go bowling. I sucked, nothing new here it seems to be a recurring trend, and then at like 2 in the morning we finally decide we should probably head home.

And that’s that. That is the night that I found out that drunk laser tag is fun, but don’t leave me alone or I will fall down a lot, not be able to get up, and get lost.

Do I think this is the safest thing to do? Nope, not at all. But would I do it again? Most likely.

And don’t worry, we have sober drivers (DDs) for both cars the entire time. Safety first, people!

Also we stopped for In and Out on the way home and just FYI, their fries are gross.

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